The Clothing That Doomed Us All (Cont.)

20 06 2012

Dwyane Wade 1

Dwyane Wade 2

I didn’t think it could happen. I really didn’t. Someone’s fashion has confused me more than Russell Westbrook’s “statement” if that justifies his outfit.

In an attempt to justify Dwyane Wade and his choice of attire Tuesday night after their crucial Game 4 win, I decided to do some research.

First, I went to the place we all go for an immediate definition of anything and everything.

“Flip-up sunglasses add the benefits of sunglasses to corrective eyeglasses, allowing the wearer to flip up the tinted lenses for indoor use,” Wikipedia said.

Oh this makes even less sense. Since Wade doesn’t need corrective eyeglasses nor does he need to block the sunlight when he goes outside to face the night sky, these serve no real purpose. He could not have worn these in order to fulfill their usual purpose. Thanks, Wikipedia.

Next, I decided to take a gander into the life of the celebrities to see if many have moved to the flip fashion. And I found one!

Umm, so Wade has suddenly grown fond of Lady Gaga and desires to create a fashion connection between the two… he desires to become the flamboyant, out-there image for the NBA. For some reason, this just isn’t clicking in my mind correctly. Thanks, Hollywood.

It’s all coming together now – Wade is making a statement. He wants to make a statement for all the people in the world that put their glasses on the top of their heads and then go into a frenzy trying to find their “misplaced” glasses. He wants to do this by wearing combo eyewear that will always be right on the tip of his nose. No? I guess not. Thanks, rationale.

When it comes down to it, this is just another NBA player trying to be “different” and “hip” by simply looking as odd as possible. Finding deep reasoning in this attire can’t be found (unless you count this explanation). It confused Kobe Bryant earlier in the playoffs, it has always confused me, and now when Wade’s biggest fan – a fellow glasses advocate – comes down on him, that’s a clear sign things have gone too far.

“This whole glasses thing is getting out of control right now,” LeBron James said to reporters.

Before approaching the media, he actually removed his own glasses backstage after seeing what Wade was sporting at the podium. Thanks, LeBron. Seriously.

In the end, these glasses (if they can still be called that) have allowed me to see into the future lens of these NBA Finals. I don’t know if James Harden will actually begin to play. I don’t know if Mario Chalmers will match his Game 4 performance. I don’t even know who will win the next game or this series.

What I do know, though, is what Russell Westbrook will wear to his next postgame press conference.

Happy Giddy Kids’ Flip-Up Sunglasses

May someone save us all…

Ignite the Site!




3 responses

21 06 2012

They are displaying as little professionalism as possible. Nice piece, keep it up!

20 06 2012

Man, I love the way you put together this post. And I agree – this has to be stopped!! This just can’t keep on going…

20 06 2012

What always perplexes me in these clothing choices is the fact that all of these guys are in their mid to late 20’s. They dress like they’re 5… a little professionalism would be welcome.

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